So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We named our party play list daddy issues
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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