glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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