I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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