I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
