We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Randomize
