I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
