Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
