Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
