i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
