His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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