found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
