I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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