What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
