God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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