If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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