I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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