i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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