Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
