Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
