dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
