Already got asked if we're dating
i don't like sucking hair
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
