I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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