I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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