those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
