..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
