I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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