wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
