Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
