This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
