I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just gargled with NyQuil
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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