sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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