Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Less talking, more tequila
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
