I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
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i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
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Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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