your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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