sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
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Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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