Screwed.edu
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
