My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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