I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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