i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You are a genius and a whore.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
