Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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