You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Everyone says I win the strip club
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
