I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
nutella sex= disaster
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
