in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize