my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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