do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
