Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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