You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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