My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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