you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
