i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
