yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
