this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
