And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
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So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
there is puke in my bra ... again
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