theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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