If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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