i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
