The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
