why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
