i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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