you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
