Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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