Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
