She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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