NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
