from now on my penis is your penis
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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