I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
